As promised, here’s the first installment of the best of my 12 years of Tic Tac Toe feedback emails.

The first email I have:

Date: September 12, 1995

Dear Jeff,
I came upon your page and decided to play a game of Tic Tac Toe.
Your game screwed me over. I was cheated out of my turn three times,
but what’s worse: I lost to a computer. This wouldn’t have been so bad
if I were playing chess or some other high-strategy game, but to lose at
TicTacToe is a real blow to the ego, even if the computer cheated. I’m
terribly distraught!!!!
Just kidding… I just wanted to let you know your program has a
bug in it.

Robert Karhnak

I think my first true hatemail came on on March 5, 1996

THIS GAME SUCKS! WHAT THE HELL COULD HAVE POSSESSED YOU TO BOTHER
PUTTING THIS CRAP ON THE WEB! MY 6 YEAR-OLD BROTHER DOESN’T EVEN FIND IT
MENTALLY STIMMULATING!IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

and then it got worse

This game sucks balls!!!!!!!!!!!

Make a better game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently I molded a generation just getting on the internet:

my first time on the internet and i thought that this game was fun

Besides hate mail, the second most popular email theme is students who want the source code. No, I will not do your homework for you.

Subject: Help Needed!
Date: May 10, 1998 10:49:35 AM PDT

Hi,

I’m a student from a Singapore’s Polytechnic and we are doing a project on
Internet’s Interactive Games. We need to do an online games and I came
across your website with this Tic-Tac-Toe game and is interested in it. Can
you help me? If you are willing to help please let me have a copy of your
Tic-Tac-Toe’s scripts and and instruction on installing it. Thanks a lot
for your help…..

Thanks,
Alex Sim

Then it goes back to hate mail

Tic-tac-toe fucken’ sucks you pansie ass bitches!!!!!!

Sorry kids, get used to losing. You’re going to do a lot of it in life, especially you

Date: March 3, 1998

stop cheating and play dumber and stop winning and we’re just kids &
your supposed let us win!

But no matter what the kids say to me, they always want email, so I get stuff like this

Date: March 1, 1998 12:15:06 PM PST
DEAR COMPUTER,
WHY CANT I PLAY TIC TAC TOE?
I WANT TO PLAY NOW BUMSTER
FROM SHIRLEY

Date: March 1, 1998 12:17:39 PM PST

YOU BETTER WRITE BACK
FROM SHIRLEY

Yeah, I admit it. I’m “stoupit”.

Subject: i think that suks. you are stoupit to make the computer win every
Date: February 19, 1998 3:01:50 PM PST

time goog by you gerks.

Other letters were cute. Where are you now Syenna?

From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
Date: January 20, 1998 8:23:34 PM PST
To: [email protected]

I like your game against because I have always liked this game. I also
like playing computer the computer most of the time I play this I beat
the computer alot!

. From Syenna Burquitlam B.C.

Iam 8 and a half years old

Iwas born in the year 1989

Read my letter!

213 rounds? And I have too much time on my hands?

Date: December 13, 1997 9:04:42 PM PST

Hi, my comment about your Tic-Tac Toe is;when you make your choice of where you’re gonna put your sy mbol it takes too long for the computer to put it in,and in that time it can see what’s going to happen in that move,so it can beat you every time.I’ve played 213 rounds and I’ve never won once. Sincerely, Amanda G.


I wonder if I still have a chance with BAMBIE.

Date: December 13, 1997 9:32:11 AM PST

I mite let you win sometimes.BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLWOED TO CHEAT BECAUSE I DO
NOT CHEAT. BUY THE WAY HOW OLD ARE YOU ARE YOU SINGLE AND WERE DO YOU
LIVE?

MY NAME IS BAMBIE.
PS. WRITE BACK AT
[email protected]

I’m worried about the restricted internet too!

Subject: Help
Date: November 26, 1997 1:03:48 PM PST

I can not acess Tic-Tac-Toe because I am Web restricted. How can I play
without worring About the Internet? Hope you can get me info soon.

I should translate this. I have no idea if I’m being insulted or not.

Subject: von mir
Date: November 6, 1997 4:45:13 PM PST

find ich echt geil, schreibt mal zurück, tschaui, dirk

Yes, I’m sorry you need to be at least 5 feet tall to win, but I love you too.

Subject: WHY
Date: October 22, 1997 6:51:11 PM PDT

WHY CAN”T I KEVIN WEATHERS 10YEARS OLD 4″6 GO TO TIC TAC
TOE PLEASE WRITE BACK.

LOVE YOU

Yes, everyone except you, apparently.

Date: October 22, 1997 10:59:00 AM PDT

It’s impossible to win because people are too smart

Rugrats Tic Tac Toe! Why didn’t I think of that first?

Date: August 25, 1997 4:26:25 PM PDT

It was good , but you can put pictures of the rugrats from nickelodeon
please I like them very much.

Perhaps I should start a company for this.

Date: July 24, 1997 2:50:06 PM PDT

dear tic tac toe company,
your
great

Sorry Kelly, there’s no man behind the curtain here.

Date: June 14, 1997 1:29:46 PM PDT

HI MY NAME IS KELLY AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU ARE THE PERSON WHO IS
PLAYING TICTAC TOE WITH ME OR IS THE COMPUTER?

Hmm, your job must be really boring.

Date: June 13, 1997 11:45:16 AM PDT

I LOVE IT!!!!! helps the work day out a little.
THANKS!!!!
Diane Pomelear

Bad Dog certainly tells it like it is.

Date: April 15, 1997 6:13:24 AM PDT

Dear Jeff I like your Tic Tac Toe game my favorite board games is Tic
Tac Toe. I was playing the game and I lost And I saw I could send a
letter to you so I am.

Yours Truely Bad Dog

If only playing Tic Tac Toe was the worst thing you could get caught doing on your computer at work these days:

Date: May 22, 1998 12:25:43 PM PDT

I’M NEW AT THIS STUFF. HOW COULD I GET A COPY OF TIC TAC TOE TO PUT ON
MY COMPUTER SINCE WE’RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE ON THE INTERNET AT WORK. I TRY
TO USE THIS SITE WHEN THE BOSS ISN’T AROUND. ALOT OF PEOPLE HERE USE
THIS SITE

COMALANDER

I think I struck a nerve with this fellow:

Date: June 19, 1998 2:22:24 PM PDT

DEAR TIC- TAC- TOE YOU STUPID GAME THE COMPUTER WILL WIN YOU STUPID
CRAP FACE

Lots more to come!