Vacation Blog Day 6: “The Island”

Another lazy day at sea. After all of yesterday’s fun I was beat so I lounged around in my room for a while. I flipped on the TV to one of those channels where they play the same movie over and over again in a loop. “The Island” appeared to be just starting. The movie has a plot similar to The Matrix, except with clones that are being grown by an unscrupulous corporation selling redundant organs for unsuspecting rich clients.

At the end of the movie I couldn’t help draw parallels to being on the ship. You’re trapped (though willingly) in this intensely artificial environment. Instead of harvesting your organs, they’re harvesting your money – a lot up front and then little cashectomies here and there. The food is free – except if you want to eat at either of the finer restaurants. That’s $20 a head. Would you like a cocktail by the pool? $5.95. Don’t forget the tip. Just a coke? A couple bucks there. No need for cash, just charge it to your account. Hey, it feels free!

While on the way to the theater, check out the gift shops, full of jewelry, booze, perfume, clothing and trinkets. On the way to the casino, buy a spa package and some lessons at the gym. Every occasion deserves a professional photograph, so be prepared to be assaulted by photographers who will then sell you your photo for only $19.95! Buy flowers for your honey on the way to dinner. The TV comes onto promotions for their on-demand movies. Call home for only $7.95 minute or get on the internet for only 50 cents a minute!

There’s even a daily art auction. I feel the most sympathy for the auctioneer. It seemed like most auctions only get one bid. Then she’d talk up some piece for a long time that started at eight thousand dollars. No one would bid and she’d give up.

I’m proud that so far the only charge to our account has been the excursions from the ports. We bought a trip to see the Panama Canal and then two more in Costa Rica. Of course they mark these up too, but they make sure the transportation from the ship to the trip is smooth.

The one cool thing we did today was a backstage tour of the theater. We got to talk with the performers and the stage managers and go backstage. We saw the sound booth and the lighting control room. We had been wondering about the heliport on the bow of the ship so we asked the stage manager. Apparently she had never seen it used in 4 years and it was so expensive that they’d only use it in an extreme emergency where they were out in the middle of nowhere and couldn’t get to any port quickly. The comedians and magicians and such get on and off the boat at the ports. Pretty interesting stuff.

Other than that, more eating, lounging, walking and lounging was the order of the day. “Work”? What’s that?

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