My kids love Peggy Rathman’s book, Officer Buckle and Gloria. Reading it one night and noticing all the post-it notes behind Officer Buckle, I began to wonder if there were actually 101 safety tips in the book. I sat down one night and copied them all down. It turns out there are 101 and a few extras.

Some are purely practical “Lock your bike”, some are strangely adult “Never run in high heels” and others are are just weirdly specific “Wipe up drool”.

Here’s all the numbered rules that can be made out in the book:

1. Keep your shoelaces tied
2. Always wipe up spills before someone slips and falls
3. ?
4. Do not jumping… the bed
5. Never play with matches
6. Dial 911 in an emergency
7. Always wear a crash helmet when biking or skating
8. Never hitchhike
9. Obey all traffic signs
10. ?
11. ?
12. ?
13. Never use water [on] a grease fire. Smother it with a lid.. bak…
14. Remember your telephone number
15. ?
16. Never chase a ball that rolls into the street
17. ?
18. Never drink and drive
19. Never run with a scissors in your hand
20. Never wander too far from..
21. Never roll around in poison ivy
22. ?
23. Never take someone else’s medicine
24. Always tell your parents where…
25. Always tell your parents if someone bite…
26. Be alert..
27. ?
28. Stay away from cigarettes
29. ?
30. Never take a shortcut through lonely places
31. Never stand up in a canoe
32. ?
33. Never take ..ne
34. Avoid rattlesnakes
35. Cross only at the crosswalk
36. Never play with electrical outlets
37. ?
38. ?
39. ?
40. Never play in.. em.. wa..
41. Never play with spray paint
42. Never leave tennis balls on the stairs
43. Say “no” if a stranger asks you to go to their house
44. Lock your bike
45. Wear a life jacket on boats
46. ?
47. ?
48. Never play soccer in the living room
49. Never reach over the hot stove when wearing loose sleeves
50. ?
51. Never bother a big dog while it’s eating
52. ?
53. ?
54. Lock up your valuables
55. ?
56. ?
57. Never leave a full wading pool where someone might fall into it
58. ?
59. Never…
60. ?
61. Never play on construction sites
62. Never listen to music playing too loud
63. ?
64. ?
65. ?
66. ?
67. Stay off thin ice
68. Keep sharp objects away from children
69. Never run in high heels
70. Always wear light-colored clothing at night
71. Never run on a wet pool deck
72. Never swim near a storm sewer
73. Never sit too close to the television
74. Never stand up in a bus while it’s moving
75. Never use a blowdryer in the bathtub
76. Never dry your socks in the microwave oven
77. Never stand on a swivel chair
78. Stay away from firecrackers
79. Never breath… fumes…
80. Wipe up drool
81. Stay away from abandoned refrigerators
82. Always swim with a buddy
83. ?
84. ?
85. Stay away from guns
86. Keep your legs inside car windows
87. ?
88. Turn off the TV before you unplug it
89. ?
90. ?
91. ?
92. ?
93. Always keep a flashlight and sturdy shoes under your bed
94. Ride bikes only on posted…
95. ?
96. Never play in the car alone
97. Never accept rides from strangers
98. Never use an elevator in a fire
99. Do not go swimming during electrical storms
100. Never turn your back on a strange dog
101. Always stick with your buddy

That’s 68 rules. There’s another 42 where you can’t make out the number:

• Never play loud music into headphones
• Look both ways before your cross the street
• Know your neighbors
• Keep your eyes open
• ..bee sting kit if allergic
• Never lick a stop sign in the winter
• Eat hamburg well done
• Keep off furniture
• Che.. foo.. We…
• Watch your step…
• Never fly kites near power lines
• Prepare for fire…
• Look before you leap
• Check how deep the water is before you dive
• Never give information over the phone to strangers
• Never leave a bar of soap where someone might step on it
• Buckle your seat belt
• Never put anything in your nose
• Never drink anything you find under the sink
• …before you pet them
• Dispose of banana peels properly
• Clean up broken glass
• Read the instructions before operating appliances
• Check water temperature for climbing in the bathtub
• No biking on the sidewalk
• Always check smoke alarm batteries…
• Keep necklaces…
• …while the mixer…s on
• …escape from fire
• Say …no… to drugs
• Wash your hands after you use the toilet
• Stay away from alcohol
• Never leave a thumbtack where someone might sit on it
• Never put anything in your ear
• Never accept rides from strangers
• Never eat mayonnaise that’s been sitting in the sun
• Never play in the microwave oven
• Never tilt your chair back on two legs
• Never play with spray cans
• Always pull the toothpick out of your sandwich
• Never run with a pop bottle in your mouth
• …might slip on it

So that’s 110 rules. I’ll always be reminded of this book when I (too frequently) stand on a swivel chair.