I really don’t understand parents.
When I tell other people that have kids that we’re expecting our first kid any day now, the first thing they tell me how “great” it is. The second thing they tell me, with silly grins on their faces, is their horror stories about when their kid was born, getting no sleep and cleaning up all sorts of messes. Huh? Cleaning + stress + sleep deprivation != “great”.
So I have to assume that having a kid is great for other reasons, which people are generally very vague about. Is it that parents are delusional? Do kids activate some kind of mental disorder that makes being a slave to another human pleasurable? I hope so, because otherwise I’m going to be miserable.
We took something like 22 hours of parenting preparation classes. Most of those hours were about how to deal with horrible, or at least unpleasant things that can happen to your kid and you before and after birth. Again, this does not sound “great”.
I have to believe that there is some kind of switch that flips in our brains that convinces us that kids are worth the effort. After all, we’re animals. For our species to survive after millions of years, something has to be hardwired for this. It’s not a choice – you feel compelled to do it. If even half of parents decided that kids were just not worth the trouble and threw them away, we would not survive as a species.
So I worry that perhaps my switch will be broken and I’ll hate having a kid. On the other hand, I worry the opposite will happen. I don’t want to become totally absorbed in a kid and lose my passions for work, hobbies, and other people and parts of my life.
Can someone explain to me why I’m going to love having a kid despite a ll the screaming, feeding and cleaning up? Or will I convince myself that I love having a kid because I can’t admit to investing so much time in something that I didn’t love?
After 5 minutes of research, I found my answer. I was right. All parents are on drugs, and I say bring it on. I’ll take a double dose of Oxytocin, please.