{"id":797,"date":"2014-07-19T19:43:40","date_gmt":"2014-07-20T00:43:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/?p=797"},"modified":"2014-10-22T20:17:48","modified_gmt":"2014-10-23T01:17:48","slug":"elliotts-delirious-poetic-ranting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/2014\/07\/19\/elliotts-delirious-poetic-ranting\/","title":{"rendered":"Elliott’s delirious poetic ranting"},"content":{"rendered":"

The context:<\/strong> It’s 9 pm on Friday night. The whole family is driving to New Hampshire for the weekend. Elliott and Audrey are in the back<\/p>\n

\"Elliott,

Elliott, on a happier day<\/p><\/div>\n

seat. Both of them had a really busy day. Audrey is already asleep.<\/p>\n

Elliott, when he gets very tired, gets extremely grumpy and contradictory. This time I managed to use my iPhone’s voice memo app and transcribe his rantings.<\/p>\n

If he was a few years older, this would be disturbing. But when he’s 4, it’s cute and funny. In fact, it reads like some avant-garde poetry. “the light is too dark”, \u00a0“We can’t see light behind us<\/em>“, “I direct my own mouth.”<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n

—<\/strong><\/p>\n

[Anne plays kids’ music and then starts looking at stuff on her phone]<\/p>\n

You don’t look right away<\/em>
\n You wait<\/em>
\n and I say when you do something and not do something<\/em>
\n because that’s mean<\/em>
\n that’s making you be mean<\/em>
\n I’m being mean to you<\/em>
\n that’s being mean to me and it’s not making me not happy<\/em>
\n it’s a making me sad<\/em>
\n you don’t go right away and look at it<\/em>
\n i want to look at something. And I say no, you can’t look at something<\/em>
\n I’m throwing your phone right out the window<\/em>
\n I’m throwing it right over the highway and into the trees<\/em><\/p>\n

(sobbing)<\/p>\n

I need to go to sleep before Audrey<\/em>
\n I go to sleep before Audrey<\/em>
\n Audrey, get awake right now<\/em><\/p>\n

[He’s suddenly getting frustrated at his car seat]<\/p>\n

This is too tight<\/em>
\n loosen this up<\/em>
\n this is too tight<\/em>
\n this is not too tight<\/em>
\n it’s not too loose<\/em>
\n the light is too dark<\/em>
\n it’s too dark<\/em>
\n it’s too dark<\/em><\/p>\n

When are we going to be there?<\/em>
\nWhen are we going to be there?<\/em>
\nAnne: “We have a long time left to go, Elliott”
\nNo we don’t, we have three. Three miles and 1 minute<\/em>
\n I wish the camp was right here<\/em>
\n Right there<\/em><\/p>\n

Why is that police there?<\/em>
\nAnne: “Pulling somebody over. Somebody was doing something wrong. They were going too fast or they did something wrong.”
\nWhat’s if there’s someone behind us?
\n<\/em>We can’t see em behind us.
\n<\/em>We can’t see light behind us.<\/em><\/p>\n

(whining)<\/p>\n

This is too long<\/em>
\n This is too long of a ride<\/em><\/p>\n

(yawning)<\/p>\n

It’s too long of a ride<\/em>
\n And the seat is tickling me<\/em>
\n And a bumblebee stinged me<\/em>
\n A bumblebee stinged me<\/em>
\n A bumblebee stinged me<\/em><\/p>\n

Mommy, the bumblebee stinged me<\/em>
\n It really hurts. I need a bandaid right now<\/em>
\n Two bandaids<\/em>
\nAnne: “I’m sorry I don’t have any bandaids. If you’re still hurting tomorrow…”
\nDo you have the Mickey ones?<\/em>
\nAnne: “If we have them, they’re back in the bathroom bag.”
\nWhere is the bathroom bag?<\/em>
\nAnne: “The bathroom bag is way in the back.”
\nWhere is the bathroom bag?<\/em>
\nThe bathroom bag is way up front.<\/em>
\nAnne: “No, Elliott”<\/p>\n

(indiscernable rants)<\/p>\n

TOO LONG OF A RIDE!!<\/em>
\n TOO LONG OF A RIDE!!<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s not fair that Audrey’s asleep and I’m not.<\/em>
\n It’s not really fair.<\/em><\/p>\n

When you get a bug bite, it stays there.<\/em>
\n It doesn’t go away<\/em>
\n How to bug bites go away? How?<\/em><\/p>\n

AUDREY WAKE UP!<\/em>
\n AUDREY WAKE UP!<\/em>
\n AUDREY WAKE UP, YOU’RE MAKING ME SAD!<\/em><\/p>\n

[Audrey stays soundly asleep]<\/p>\n

Mommy, I can’t go to sleep. I can’t go to sleep until you turn the music on.<\/em>
\nAnne: “Elliott, you have to be ready to listen. You can’t listen if you’re talking.”<\/p>\n

I can talk if I want. You don’t direct me. I can talk if I want.<\/em>
\n You don’t direct my mouth.<\/em>
\n I direct my own mouth.<\/em>
\n My mouth says what it needs to say every day and every night.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s not fair.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’ll catch you with a net.<\/em>
\n I’ll catch you when I’m fishing.<\/em>
\n I’ll catch you like a fish.<\/em><\/p>\n

Somebody’s touching my foot.<\/em>
\n Somebody’s touching my foot and they’re not supposed to.<\/em>
\n Somebody’s touching my foot.<\/em><\/p>\n

Can you help me go to sleep?<\/em>
\n Can you help me go to sleep?<\/em><\/p>\n

I need you to do something.<\/em><\/p>\n

You’re wrong and I’m right.<\/em>
\n Daddy’s wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n

Are we going to be there in a long time?<\/em>
\n You’re wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The context: It’s 9 pm on Friday night. The whole family is driving to New Hampshire for the weekend. Elliott and Audrey are in the back seat. Both of them had a really busy day. Audrey is already asleep. Elliott, when he gets very tired, gets extremely grumpy and contradictory. This time I managed to …<\/p>\n

Continue reading ‘Elliott’s delirious poetic ranting’ »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=797"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/797\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":823,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/797\/revisions\/823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/boulter.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}