I’m pretty sure there was a Faustian bargain made some time ago that went something like this:

Medical school flunky:”I really want to sign my checks with ‘Dr.’ and drive a Porsche but memorizing ALL those body parts is too hard.”
Satan: “OK, I can make you a doctor, but your job will consist of menial, repetitive tasks and all your patients will hate you. You’ll probably decide that suicide is a better option.”
Medical school flunky: “But I get the Porsche?”
Satan: “Yes.”
Medical school flunky: “Sounds good!”

Then Satan created dentistry. Suddenly human teeth required several sessions of dedicated maintenance per day brushing, flossing and washing. Otherwise teeth would become extremely painful and simply fall out.

It certainly explains why for thousands of years of human history there are no dentists and suddenly it’s one of those ‘required’ things you must do.

How else could you explain that of all your body parts, this particular one requires so much maintenence? Skin and tissue grow back, bones heal. I don’t spend any time cleansing my elbows meticulously and they seem to work just fine. My cat has yet to see a dentist and I have plenty of marks to prove his teeth work just fine.

Why is it that you only get two shots at healthy teeth and one of those comes at an age when you’re too young to really care? I think we should get our second set of teeth around mid-life, say 40. Or maybe we can cross-breed humans and beavers. Their teeth never stop growing and they must continuously gnaw on hard stuff like wood to file them down. I chew up enough pens; that should be sufficient.

This is all very suspicious. It could only be the work of Satan.

Oh, if you’re reading this Dr. Yu — nice Porsche. No, no I’m kidding really. I’ve been flossing, really I have. Please don’t hurt me (any more than usual)!