Back in college, I was the editor of my college newspaper, The Bucknellian. Once a week, I would stop by the Public Safety Office. I’d bring a floppy disk with me and I’d go in the back with an officer so they could copy the weekly Public Safety log from some ancient version of WordStar onto my disk.
This was a very important job because there were people that read the newspaper JUST for the Public Safety log. It was always on Page 2. The crime-fighting that goes on at a small liberal arts college in the middle of Pennsylvania is usually banal, but often pretty funny.
I’m reminded of this every week when I read the Public Safety column of The Sunnyvale Sun, the free local newspaper. Sunnyvale is a safe place to live, so the entries in the log are often boring and funny too.
Some highlights from this week:
Causing a disturbance – Sept. 3, 9:40 p.m., 100 block of S. Murphy Avenue. A man in his 20s, wearing a fisherman’s hat, red shirt and red checkered pants was bothering customers and talking to himself in front of a business.
Yes, I would find someone wearing an outfit like that very disturbing.
Assault – Sept. 2, 5:25 pm., 400 block of S. Sunnyvale Avenue. Someone tried to push someone else off a second story balcony.
This sounds like 3rd grade playground drama to me.
Drunk in public – Sept. 2, 2:15 p.m., W. El Camino Real and Hollenbeck Avenue. Two men were drunk outside a magic store.
I’m pretty sure this is the first line of at least one dirty joke.
Attempted theft – Sept. 1, 12:18 a.m., 1200 block of Forgewood Avenue. A man with a goatee tried to steal aluminum from behind a business.
Can’t you see some guy with shifty eyes pressed up against a wall waiting to make his move and get him some aluminum? This reminds of that that Futurama episode, where Bender meets his evil counterpart, Flexo. The only difference between the two robots is that Flexo has a goatee. Flexo disguises himself by wearing a scarf. Hilarious.
iTheft – Sept. 1, 8 a.m., 900 block of Exmoor Way. An iPod was stolen.
That’s not a typo, they actually coined a new word and printed it – iTheft.
Can’t wait until next week!
Haha, that Bender reference is priceless, considering that the goateed culprit was stealing *aluminum*.
My first job out of college was as a reporter for the Sunnyvale Sun. I wrote the police blotter each week, and I doubt I would have been so clever had I been presented with iTheft. Normally it just used to be prostitutes getting busted in massage joints. No real fun to be had, there.
Okay……Wordstar! Totally forgot about that software. LOL. Wordstar to Wordperfect to MS Word. What a trip……
Police blotter is always good for a laugh. Amazing how many kooky people there are out there….I got a laugh out of the two drunk guys at the magic store. What could they be fighting about? LOL.
jeff, sorry to contact you via this comment, the older post is closed and i can’t find an email for you anywhere – i am looking for info you left in a blog post about YME and tracking for new music? how is that done. i would love if you could email me when you have a second. [email protected]
thanks so much
andy
The Bucknelllian! Hey, I can relate…I was the Program Director for WVBU . Guess we were there different years, though.