i personally find that guys do not respond so well to small infants, that seems to be a female thing to melt at the sight of an infant. i enjoyed parenting much more when they could walk and talk and wrestle with me and ask for rides on my back and chase me on their trikes.

you will see how fast time is really moving because one day they are tiny crying things, then they sit up, then stand, then walk, then etc etc…all in a very short period of time. i forgot how fast time was really passing by until kids.

having kids will also get you out of the habit many of your single/childless peers have of staring in their own navels and engaging in other forms of narcissism. you will be giving all of your time to your family, they need it! that means leaving work when other people are doing things that might put them one ladder up further than you.

its awesome. its a great thing. its really the coolest thing you can do in your life, to be a dad.

As for having hobbies and other passions besides the kid: It’s all still possible. The downside is that your free time is no longer yours, it’ll be your kid’s. Extra-curricular activities require focus, commitment, and increased communication with your wife. I’ve had to whittle mine down a bit and that’s tough. It ain’t easy, but it’s all still doable (and worth it).

But I heard someone once say, in response to parents who felt their children owed them things for all their devotion, that a child had repaid his mother and father for everything in something like 3/6/12 months or something. I definitely feel that now. Parenting is about giving but it is also about receiving a huge amount. You could sum it up by saying it is love but wrapped up in there are specific daily experiences of humour, delight, surprise, learning, vigour, exhilaration, etc. etc.. The thing that gobsmacked me most about children is how early they have a sense of humour and delight in the world. You start learning basic things about what humanity is and it enriches so many other relationships too. For instance, after becoming a Dad, I began to realise that in a funny sort of way my parents knew me better than I knew myself (they had watched me grow from nothing, whereas my first memories were so relatively late and sporadic) and that my birthday is not just my birthday, as I had always thought of it, but the anniversary of the day my mum did that awesome thing giving birth to me.

and learning to love that.

But then it’ll hit you, maybe a couple days later, maybe weeks. It’s instantaneous, and it’s a different moment for everybody. The best way to describe it? The universe realigns itself. It really does. It has a new center, and you’re holding her in your arms. I’ve felt it happen to me 3 times, differently every time, and just as powerful each one. You know that scene in all those novels where everything in life is going along pretty normally until the hero comes along, and when he walks in the room everybody can tell that he’s different, he’s special, he’s going to change the world? People just want to be in his presence because of the aura he radiates? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself staring in awe at my son and thinking exactly those things.
He’s one, and as far as I’m concerned he might be destined to be King Arthur.

It did not, any of those times, make me a doting fool who wants to do nothing each day but rush home to make googoo noises over a crib. On the contrary, it made me personally realize that my children’s world, at least for a very long time, will be defined by what I make it, and it’s on me to make it the best I can for them. Sometimes that means making googoo noises over a crib, sure, but also means going to work and making a paycheck, too.

Don’t worry. You’ll see.